False Alarm

Today was the day we were suppose to go home from our second trip to the NICU. Andrew and I were looking forward to this day. We went home early last night to do some last minute things around the house so it would be perfect for Christian's return. We also got up early and put the new car seat in the car. It was really hot out there and both of us were sweating trying to figure out how to install it. It wasn't hard but trying to pull the strap tight enough is a job in itself. Off to the hospital we went. Things were right on schedule to discharge home; we were just waiting on Doctor M to make rounds and write the discharge orders. Andrew and I left for lunch and got back in time for Christian's lunch. He gets really irritable around his feeding times and he is like clock work (likes to eat every 3 hours). Once he got a full belly it was time for a nice nap. I was holding him and rocking him when suddenly he started trembling. They only lasted for about 30 seconds and that was it. We ran out to find our nurse and she came in the room. I told her that I think he just had a seizure but it wasn't anything near what they were like when we first brought him in.

Dr. M recommended we continue to keep a close eye on him and she ordered another EEG to be done to check for any abnormality in his brain waves. As we were waiting Andrew's parents came by for a visit along with Jennifer, his sister. Sweet Christian decided to take another nap and started the trembling again. This time I was told to push the nurse call button if it happened again. The nurse came running in and witnessed the seizure. I also got it on video (thank goodness for I-phones). I was able to show the doctor exactly what he was doing.

Needless to say a good day ended up with a set-back. My sweet baby is still in the hospital and will be there a few more days now. The goal (per Dr. M) is to get him as asymptomatic as possible. We also want his seizure medicine to be at the right dose in order to control the seizures. I just can't stand my baby being away from home. The hardest thing is having to leave him at the hospital to stay in that empty room all by himself. I know that he is just resting but at least it makes me feel better just sitting with him and being there just in case he may need me. Again, I've asked for God's angels to comfort him and bring him rest.

When we started this whole process I prayed for patience. God has taught me, and is still teaching me, the meaning of patience. He knows exactly when to give you what you need but continues to test you in ways that forces you to grow in your faith. I trust in Him and I know He knows what he's doing. All I can do is be patient and wait. I will continue to put this in God's hands with the faith that everything, in the end, will be just fine. Our God is truly an awesome God! Goodnight my sweet angel. May you rest with the angels that God sends to heal and comfort you! Kisses from your biggest fan, Mama!

Back to the NICU

Saturday morning we were totally exhausted from not sleeping very well the last two nights. Christian was not a good sleeper at night. He rested fine during the day, but by the time night came, he did not want to be put down. We had him on a 3 hour feeding schedule as well and his feedings were taking about 45 min to an hour each. It seemed like once we got done with one feeding it was time for another. Next thing we knew, Christian had developed a severe diaper rash. Later that evening my mom recommended we call the pediatrician to see if we could get him in early (we had an appointment scheduled for Monday already). The pediatrician was able to get us in early on Sunday morning. Late on Saturday night I started noticing that Christian was trembling when I held him. I didn't think much about this except that I knew it wasn't normal. We asked the doctor about it at our appointment on Sunday morning and she recommended we just keep watching him.  We also switched his formula because he wasn't tolerating the other formula he was on. His diaper rash was continuing to get worse so we got some more diaper rash cream to help heal it.

Later on Sunday we noticed that Christian's tremors were getting more pronounced especially when he was taking a nap. My wonderful sister-in-law, Jennifer, offered to keep him Sunday night so Andrew and I could get some sleep. We jumped on the offer and let her keep him. Andrew and I slept for 8 long hours and didn't have to get up once. Poor Jennifer was up a lot with him that night feeding, rocking, and playing with him at 4 in the morning because he was wide awake. I asked Jen if she noticed the tremors and she said yes and that she didn't think they were normal either. We ended up going back to the doctor on Monday morning for our new baby check up. We asked bunches of questions and finally got to the hard part about asking about the tremors. Yes, they were not normal and it was recommended that we be admitted back to the NICU to figure out what was going on with Christian.

So off to the hospital we went, again. When we got there we had to register in admissions which seemed like it took forever. Once we finally got to the NICU they immediately took Christian and examined, poked, and began running tests. All the nurses up there were absolutely fabulous. I loved everyone of them. Of course, I was crying through the whole process. Seeing my baby like that was the hardest thing ever. They ran a CT of his brain and an EEG. Every other test that was run was normal except the EEG. My worse night mare was coming true. Christian was having seizures. That was a hard pill to swallow. My heart just sank to the bottom of my feet when I heard this. All I could think was I just want my baby to be okay. More tests were being run to try and determine the cause of what was going on. I was so thankful for Dr. M because she ran every test to try and rule out what was going on. They finally had to sedate Christian a little because he was trembling so bad and couldn't get a break from the sticks and tests. They finally decided to start him on an anti-seizure medicine which would hopefully help stop them.

My poor baby was as limp as a wet wash cloth when they issued him his meds. I started crying again just seeing him so out of it. Finally, I just had to leave the hospital because I couldn't take anymore and I had cried so much that I gave myself a migraine headache. I went home and went straight to bed. Andrew called to check on Christian before he went to bed and all was good. I was comforted in knowing that he was in good hands with the nursing staff.

We woke up the next morning and called the hospital first thing to check on little Christian. They had nothing but good reports about him which eased my mine immediately. I just gave the situation to God and let him take care of it. I know that He was with my sweet baby all night because I asked for angels to surround him. God was with Andrew and I too because we got a good nights rest.

Andrew and I got ready and said goodbye to the puppies and headed back to the hospital. We got to hold Christian and feed him too. He was like a totally different baby. He was eating so much better and didn't have any kind of jerking or trembling. Our feedings were only taking about 15-20 minutes as opposed to 45-60 minutes with hard core fighting. What an answer to our prayers. I just have total faith that God is working on healing my little man. I have felt nothing but comfort the last couple of days.  Although we are still waiting on some tests results to come back, most of the ones that have already been done have come back negative.

We are still in the hospital and probably will be for several more days. I am continuing to pray for no set-backs and continued healing for Christian. I just want to thank everyone for your kind words, encouragements, and messages while we've been here. Our God is the ultimate healer and I know that whatever the outcome may be, he gave us this precious angel for a reason and for that I give Him all the glory. Andrew and I are the proudest parents and have felt God's presence through this entire process.

Poor Christian is tired of being in the hospital.

God's Plan Revealed. We Got the Call!!!

Well, Andrew and I received the greatest gift ever on Tuesday May 31, 2011. It started out just a normal day. I got up around 5:00 and went on a 5 mile run before work. Andrew and I both went to work and brought with us the list we split up of adoption agencies to call that day. We made the decision to look into larger agencies and start researching them to see if there was one out there that would work better for us. I spent a good portion of my lunch break calling agencies requesting information and trying to set up conference calls with some of them just to gather more information. Out of the 4 or 5 that I called only 2 were even possibilites. Andrew left for a business meeting to Monroe that day around lunch and called his half as well (not really sure what he found out, he told me but I can't remember).  Anyway, I went back to work and Andrew continued driving to Monroe and we put all of that behind us for the day. Around 1:50 or so I got a phone call from a number that I didn't recognize on my phone. I usually don't answer numbers that I don't know but this time I did. It was our social worker, Missy Everson. She asked me if I was somewhere that we could talk. I immediately went into the bathroom at work and asked her what was wrong. She said that there was a situation that had come up where a birthmom had given birth and she was placing him for adoption and had chosen our profile. My heart was beating so hard inside my chest I literally thought it was going to explode out. I sat down and took a deep breath and said "Really, Missy I have been waiting on this day for a long time." "I said a prayer just this morning for God to make something happen." He was listening! I don't really remember the rest of the conservation but i just remember thinking, I need to call Andrew.

When I got out of the bathroom all I could say was "Oh my God!"  My coworkers heard me and asked what was wrong. I said "our social worker just called and said she has a baby for us and it's a boy. He was born yesterday and he's in the hospital." I was literally shaking all over and couldn't stand up. It was like time was standing still but there were a million things running through my head all at once. I just remember thinking, is this real? What just happened? And then I thought, I need to call Andrew! What's his number (yes, for a split moment I forgot his number). I began calling him and he wouldn't pick up the phone. To make a long story short, I called him over and over for about 45 minutes trying to get a hold of him. 15 minutes in to trying to call him I was so excited but angry at the same time that he wasn't answering his phone. I texted him "EMERGENCY, ANSWER YOUR PHONE" several times too and even sent him an email. I finally gave up and called my sister, Lynn to tell her. I then gave her the responsibility of getting a hold of Andrew so I could call my mom and other sister. Finally, Andrew called back and was probably worried from all the missed calls and multiple texts from our whole family telling him to answer his phone. All I could say was where are you? Why didn't you answer your phone, Missy called and she has a baby for us. We get to meet him today becasue he was born yesterday.

Andrew was still in Monroe in a meeting and left immediately to come home. In the mean time, my sisters were at my house digging through all the stuff I had collected from them to start getting stuff ready for the baby. Talk about being totally unprepared for this.  My mom got to my house as soon as school was out and we all just started jumping up and down screaming. It was a moment I will never ever forget. We all went into this mode and delegated tasks to each other to see what all we were going to need for the baby. Andrew's sister, Jennifer, also went to Target and bought the whole baby section (not really but just about) to help as well.

When Andrew finally got home (in record time). We immediately went to the hospital to meet our little man. He was the most perfect  thing you could ever lay your eyes on. So sweet and innocent. He was in the NICU hooked up to all these monitors and had an NG tube going down his nose to help him eat. The nurses and doctor started updating us on what his health condition was and ultimately said he was fine but the delivery was fast and he had ingested some fluids during the delivery process. Other than that he was healthy and had very powerful lungs. We just thanked God for giving us this precious little man.

Wendesday, we spent most of the day at the hospital. We got to hold him and started thinking about baby names. We didn't want to decide on one until the paper work had been signed. Thursday we got to meet the birthparents and signed papers. It was a very nice meeting and his parents were very sweet people. We were honored they would even consider us to parent their sweet angel. Thursday night we got to stay the night at the hospital and take care of Christian Landry. He was not a good sleeper. Andrew and I probably got about 10 minutes of sleep total. It was a very long and loud night with all the crying going on. It was all worth it though. I just loved seeing how involved Andrew was with his new son and watching us learn the ropes of parent hood. Friday afternoon we got to take our precious angel Christian home. It was the happiest day of my life. We were thrilled to have him as part of our family. My sister, Lynn, met us at the house with dinner and helped us get settled in.

All in all our first night home was not as bad as the night we spent in the hospital. We think Christian had his days and nights mixed up but we are willing to work on that and get him on a regular schedule. I just thank God for giving us this angel and can't wait to see what He has planned for him. Thank you everyone for your prayers. God listens to each and every prayer and for that I am truly glad I serve such an awesome God. His love truly endures forever!

Proud Daddy

Proud Mom

Our beautiful baby boy

No more pictures dad!

And the Search is ON!

Andrew and I have recently started looking into adoption agencies to expand our search to start a family. We have interviewed with one we thought was a great option but I started to have some reservations about them after thinking about it for a while. I don't really know what to think about all the agencies/facilitators out there. I know there are some good reputable ones but I just can't seem to put my finger on them. It's just a little overwhelming researching them and learning about them. It seems like once I find one that I could possibly be interested in; there is just one thing that turns me off about them.

 I have said to myself that I want a Christian based agency that is geared towards the birth mother. Its hard to decide on one too when you read some of the reviews.  I know I can't base my decision off of reviews because not everyone is going to have a positive experience with everyone, but I must say, those negative reviews are in the back of my mind when trying to decide. I've stressed myself out a bit trying to research and dig into some of these agencies looking for just the perfect one. I'm in prayer constantly asking God to lead us to where He wants us to go. So far, I don't have an answer but we are going to be contacting a few other agencies both locally and out of state next week. Who knows, maybe God has other plans for us that He is waiting to reveal? I continue to put my faith in Him because I know that He is going to put us in the right spot.

In the meantime, if you know of any agencies that you think we should look into, please let us know. I am willing to research many of them. Thanks everyone!

And one more thing, please continue to spread the word about our Burpies for Babies that I am making to try and raise funds for our adoption. I have recently posted them on Etsy.com so check them out: http://www.etsy.com/listing/74556886/burpies-for-babies, you can continue to order them as well by sending an email to LAadopt.@yahoo.com

Burpies for Babies

Hey Guys,
Burpies for Babies are still being sold. Ali with Sew Fly Monogramming is offering free monogramming on them as well. They are $10. What a deal considering most places are more and you have to pay extra for monogramming. Let me know if you are interested. Check out the new pictures from Nicole Spikes Photography. She did an awesome job and is a great photographer. She took pictures of my niece Michelle when she was born and they were adorable. Look her up at http://www.nicolespikesphotography.com/. Email me to order your burpies at LAadopt@yahoo.com.

Thanks everyone for all your support and prayers,

Leslie and Andrew

What's to come

Thursday we are meeting with someone from the state to discuss the possiblity of fostering to adopt. I am very interested to see what they have to say about adopting through the state. I think it's a wonderful idea but I also don't want to get my hopes up only to have a child taken away from me. Honestly, I haven't a clue what is involved with fostering or adopting through the state. I do know that those children are no different than if I was to adopt privately. Every child deserves love and I am willing to provide all the love I have and more. Please pray for us as we discuss this option and that we can have a clear understanding on which way God wants us to go. I pray everyday for God to lead every step of our adoption process. I don't want to make any of these decisions on my own and I fully trust that God will lead us down the right path.

If anyone has any experiences they would like to share on this topic. Please feel free to send me an email. I could use some advice. Thanks everyone, God is so good!

Burpies for Babies to Help Adopt!

We have had an unbelievable response to our Burpies for Babies and I thank you all so much for purchasing them. I will continue to make them to raise money for our adoption. I still do not know when we will be adopting but I know that God does and He may still be making our perfect child. I dream of the day when we get the phone call that there is a baby for us. I have rehearsed over and over in my head several reactions to that phone call, but despite all the rehearsals, I know that when that day actually arrives my response will probably not be like any of the ones that I have thought about. I can't imagine how excited and emotional of a day it will be. I thank you all, as well, for all the prayers and support you have offered us during the most difficult time of the adoption process, the wait. Making the burp cloths has helped me keep my mind off this difficult time and has definitely kept me very busy. I just want to remind everyone that they are $10 each and Ali with Sew Fly Monogramming has offered to monogram them for free. She is very talented and has donated her time to help us out and for that I am truly grateful. God is truly amazing and has provided for us more than what we deserve. He is an awesome God and I am blessed to serve Him.

Contact me at laadopt@yahoo.com to order!

Ali has done a fabulous job with the monogramming and the best part about it is that it's FREE! She is amazing!

Babylost Mother's Day

 

Today is International Babylost Mother's Day. It is a day to remember all the mother's out there that have lost a baby. Just as the page says, just because you have lost a baby doesn't mean that you aren't a mother. You are beautiful, strong and courageous for having the strength to move forward. This goes out to all my friends that have lost their babies at any stage in their lives. Mine were only numbers amongst the blood work but I had a glimpse of what it felt like to be pregnant and it was awesome. Norman Eugene and Ethel Rose (their nicknames) are being rocked above by God's little angels and watching us from above. I know they will be so happy when they see us with their baby brother or sister. I have their pictures stored away when they were only embryos and they truly were beautiful. For those that share this loss with me this poem below is for you. You are all beautiful Mothers in my opinion!!!!

Our Sky

By Sheryl McMahon

We live, we breathe under the same sky
Watch the flowers grow with the same awe and wonder
Their petals, reminders of those who sit above the same clouds
Our tears, falling like petals once the flowers have done their bidding
We gaze at the same sky in the same moments
Shed our tears in the same breath
As we share in this special day
The same sky still above us
The flowers blooming at our feet
Let there be comfort in the knowledge
That our children dance together among the same stars
As the night sets on a day we were all sharing
United as Babylost Mama’s and friends who share the tears