And the waiting begins!

Today we met with our social worker/adoption counselor to discuss "plan B." I went into the meeting with a very positive attitude however came out with my spirits crushed just a little. We discussed how to get the word out about our adoption efforts. The meeting ended with me being a little discouraged, because in my mind I have done what I know how to do to get the word out. Andrew has some other ideas that he knows of to help promote the adoption so we will work on those this week. As usual, Andrew had a very positive prospective of the meeting. I was wondering if we were in the same meeting, but sometimes he hears things a lot different than I do. I tend to pull out the negatives of a conversation where he hears more positive things. I'm just wanting things to move a little faster than they are and that's where my impatient side starts kicking me down.

I spoke with my sister after the meeting briefly and she reminded me that the waiting part of the adoption process is the hardest part. Not knowing what's going to happen and when it is going to happen is very hard. It's like driving a car without a steering wheel, you have no control what so ever. That is where faith comes in. "Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I just have to keep going, keep praying, and keep the faith that my all powerful God will take care of everything even when hope seems so far away.

We would appreciate your help in spreading the word. Please feel free to send any emails, twitters, facebook messages/status', etc. out to your friends, coworkers, church and family members. We are hopeful that someone may see it that knows of someone who could possibly help us complete our family.  I have posted a new email address on the blog for those that want to send a message in private. We will be checking regularly and will respond as quickly as possible. Thanks you for your help!

"My" Little One---by Leslie

I love you little one even though I don't know you.
I love your smile and the way you smell.
I love the way you look at me with your little eyes.
I love you little one even though I don't know you.

I love you when you sleep so sound in my arms.
I love the way you cry the way I did when I prayed for you.
I love your sweet kisses and your tiny little toes.
I love you little one even though I don't know you.

I love your small personality that will one day be big.
I love your warm heart that shines through your eyes.
I love everything about you and your bright shining light.
I love you little one even though I don't know you.

I love that God knows exactly who you are.
I love that He's forming you above all the stars.
I love that your waiting to be in my arms.
I love you little one even though I don't know you.

I love that He hears me when I pray for you.
I love every moment that I will spend with you.
I love that you will come to me at just the right time.
I love you little one even though I don't know you.

I will wait for you little one while the angels hold you.
They sing to you so sweetly and give you such love.
God knows when to send you to live on this earth.
I love you so much little one now and forever.

Moving Forward

Many of you may have known, but many I didn't tell, that we had a potential birthmom that was due at the end of this month. She made the decision to keep her baby. We found out yesterday morning that she had made this decision. I honestly can not blame her as I can't even fathom what a hard decision it is to give your baby up for adoption. I know I wouldn't have the strength to do it. I love the fact that God has allowed her to keep her baby and raise it. I will continue to pray for the little one that God will provide for her and her mother, being a single mom. We knew about this possiblity early on but I never allowed myself to get attached or even excited that it may happen as I knew that adoptions don't always end the way you want them to.

 So, as God continues to test my patience, we head back to the drawing board. We are suppose to meet back with our social worker to discuss what the next steps will be. This makes it a little harder for me knowing that we potentially have a long wait ahead of us. I had a little smidge of hope knowing that we had a potential birthmom but I should have known it wasn't going to be that easy. God has tested my patience for the last three years and I'm more than ready to pass His "test" and see what He has in store for Andrew and I and our family to be. After another upset, I will pick myself up and dust off the dirt and keep moving forward, not dwelling on what could have been. Please keep praying for peace, understanding and for our family. I know God is faithful and doesn't want to see us hurt and has great plans. I just wish He would reveal them sooner than later.

Throw Me Something Mista!

Today we had the best time celebrating Mardi Gras Shreveport style at the Highland parade. Andrew and I headed over to Lynn and Matt's house after church to get ready for all the festivities. We loaded up ourselves and Michelle and headed out to the parade. Once we got there it didn't take long for the parade to start. All the music and floats were really fun to listen to and look at. Michelle was the winner as far as collecting beads and stuffed animals. There is something about cute babies that people just love. She was raising her hands to catch all the beads she could. Every time she got a stuffed animal she would give it a big kiss. Such a sweet site for her Aunt Leslie. Michelle was kind enough to share her stuffed animals with her cousins, Noah, Ava and Bryce who didn't get to come to the parade.  It seemed like the parade lasted forever because there were so many floats. The Krewe of Highland is a very family friendly parade so there were lots of families and kids out ready to celebrate.

Andrew and I usually ride on the South Shreveport Rotary float, but this year we were on the receiving side of it. I like it both ways. It's entertaining while riding on the float to see all the people jump up and down for beads, but it's also fun to be that person jumping up and down to catch the beads. My most favorite throws are the mini moon pies. I was so excited to get one on the very last float that came around. What a treat! I don't know why but moon pies just make the parade so much better to me. I hope you enjoy the pictures below of our fun experience at the parade. And, always remember....LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULER!

Here we are waiting on the parade. Michelle is sporting her shades as well.

Michelle loves her Uncle Andrew!

Michelle, Lynn and I waiting on the parade to start.

Andrew and I at the start of the parade. No beads as of yet.

The beads are starting to pile up!

Yay! I finally go my Moon Pie!

Birthday Party Fun

My older sister, Laura, celebrated her 32 birthday yesterday. All the family got together to celebrate and had such a good time. Andrew had to miss out on the fun because he was working down in New Orleans. He also missed out on the Monjuni's spaghetti and strawberry cake my mom had specially made for Laura. Oh well, maybe next year. 

I got to spend time with my 4 nieces and nephews playing in the back yard. They are all getting so big, I wish they would stay small forever. I had a system going on the swings where I would go down the line and push 3 of them at a time (we only had 3 swings so the 4th child had to sit out). They had such a good time.

After the party was over we got to hang out and watch this TV show called "Cake Boss", I think? It was about this guy who makes all kinds of cakes. He made a crazy denim cake for a baby shower where the lady was obsessed over denim. She was even naming her child Denim; now that's true love of denim. Just hope she doesn't get tired of denim and move onto another type of fabric. Anyway, the cakes that he made were very original and fancy.

I love my family so much and take every opportunity to spend time with them. We have the best time together. I am so glad that God blessed me with them and can't wait until Andrew and I can share them with our baby.  I know my nieces and nephews will look forward to another play mate. I'm still praying for my precious miracle.

I don't have a picture of the birthday girl. She wouldn't let me take her picture because she didn't have on any make-up. Really????



Michelle, Ava, and Noah playing in the backyard.



Two of my favorite boys, Noah and Bryce.



The kids love their cousin Koby and love to chase him around the yard.
Koby is such a good sport.



Ava and Noah gave Michelle a big hug when she got there.
They were so excited to see her.

Beautiful Disaster

Andrew and I planned a family vacation to Colorado to go snow skiing. I was so excited for a vacation and to get to visit my most favorite state. I love Colorado, especially in the winter time. The trees and mountains covered with snow are just beautiful this time of year. Andrew had a meeting in Denver a few days before our actual trip so he flew up there first and then my sisters, their husbands, and I flew up there a few days later. We skied at Vail the first day, without Andrew because he was still in meetings, and then Andrew met us later that night. Matt's (my brother-in-law) old boss let us use his house in Keystone to stay in. It is just an amazing house with spectacular views, and he even let us borrow his car to get around in. We got a good nights rest and got up early to ski at Keystone. We skied all morning and then stopped to eat lunch. I started feeling really bad at that point and noticed that I didn't really have much of an appetite. I forced myself to eat because I knew I needed the nourishment after skiing pretty hard all morning long. We finished eating and headed straight out to the slopes again. My head began to hurt at this point and got progressively worse. I remember asking Andrew to hurry down the mountain because my head was hurting really bad. I could tell I was getting altitude sickness and wanted to get to the base of the mountain where my backpack was that was holding my Tylenol.  We ended up having to take the gondola down the mountain because I was so nauseated and my head was hurting so bad. I didn't make it to my backpack, we had to reroute straight to the car so I could get home.

The whole rest of the trip I was sick and couldn't get out of bed. Andrew had to take me to a local medical clinic because I felt like I was dying, literally. They gave me some oxygen which relieved my headache almost immediately and let me take some home. I started feeling better but very weak and left with not much of an appetite. We were suppose to go snowmobiling and tubing one day but I felt so bad and weak that I couldn't get out of bed. My sisters decided to go shopping instead for souvenirs. They found a shirt that said "I am soooo out of oxygen", and almost got it for me but Lynn said no. I thought it was funny!

Our friends, Grant and Miranda, came to visit us the last day we were there and we had a good time. They brought Charlie Kay, thier little girl, with them. She has grown up so fast and is such a cutie. We ate dinner together, a baked potato for me, and played games. I got to wittness an intense and humorous pillow fight between Lynn and Miranda.  I wasn't able to play dominoes with them because I was still exhausted and had to go to bed early, but it was still good to see them.

Our flight back to Shreveport was the worst. It's miserable being sick and having to travel, I don't recommend it at all. Our carry on luggage made a good cot for me in the airport for 4.5 hours as we waited on our plane out of Denver. I was so happy to get back to Shreveport and to be back home (we got home at midnight). I have never been so happy to be home in my life. Needless to say I am still recovering from whatever it was that decided to take over my body and set up camp for a while. I had to go to the doctor, again, and get IV fluids to rehydrate myself and more medication to try to fight off this illness. What a vacation, what a disaster in the most beautiful place. Maybe my next vacation will be better. I have included some pictures that we took while I was feeling good, enjoy!

Welcome to Colorado!







Andrew and I getting ready to ski!





It's snow time!



Lunch on the mountain (the lunch when I started feeling bad)



My sisters and I relaxing at the house



A view from the house where I spent most of the vacation.

Andrew and I on our last day. Saying goodbye to the mountains.

The Crib

I purchased a baby crib today. Huh???? Not really sure why I did it, but I really want to be prepared for whatever may happen in the future. I told myself I wouldn't purchase anything "baby" related until I knew of a potential (more definite) birthmom. I think for now this will be my only purchase. What does it look like? Well, that remains a secret, but the only thing I will tell you is that it is white. We have made the decision not to assemble it until we have more definite plans. I don't consider myself superstitious in any way but with all the other baby stuff my sisters have given me, I feel somewhat cursed. I have placed all that stuff in the attic so I can't see it or even be reminded that I have it. Hopefully this crib won't make me feel that way. I know, it's silly but I can only wonder. I think this is just a way for me to keep my mind busy and fill all this extra time I have waiting for my angel.

Snow in Shreveport

This week has been a crazy one especially with the weather. First of all, on Sunday the weather was perfect. I actually was able to spend most of the day outside in a tank top. Then it started getting colder during the week and then it snowed and actually stuck on the ground. Crazy! I just love February weather in Shreveport. Today my sister came and picked me up for work because the roads were really icy. She is now working for the same company as I am, and I have had the pleasure of training her this whole week. It has been really fun having her with  me and getting to teach her everything I know. She is switching from working with pediatrics to geriatrics. Big switch, I know, but in all honesty they are very similar. Andrew has been sick this whole week as well. I have had to take care of him all week but he is starting to feel much better now (I'm glad because he can get back to cooking again). I had to do most of the cooking this week and I must say that I don't really enjoy it as much as he does. I would hate to take that away from him. Anyway, nothing has happened so far with all the adoption stuff. We are just now in the waiting phase. I will keep you updated as I learn of new leads. Below is a picture of our house covered with snow. One day I will have a picture of my angel playing in the snow (looking forward to that day)!

Koby and Tucker playing in the snow

Our fountain froze up

Andrew and the boys cuddled up on the couch keeping warm