Many of you may have known, but many I didn't tell, that we had a potential birthmom that was due at the end of this month. She made the decision to keep her baby. We found out yesterday morning that she had made this decision. I honestly can not blame her as I can't even fathom what a hard decision it is to give your baby up for adoption. I know I wouldn't have the strength to do it. I love the fact that God has allowed her to keep her baby and raise it. I will continue to pray for the little one that God will provide for her and her mother, being a single mom. We knew about this possiblity early on but I never allowed myself to get attached or even excited that it may happen as I knew that adoptions don't always end the way you want them to.
So, as God continues to test my patience, we head back to the drawing board. We are suppose to meet back with our social worker to discuss what the next steps will be. This makes it a little harder for me knowing that we potentially have a long wait ahead of us. I had a little smidge of hope knowing that we had a potential birthmom but I should have known it wasn't going to be that easy. God has tested my patience for the last three years and I'm more than ready to pass His "test" and see what He has in store for Andrew and I and our family to be. After another upset, I will pick myself up and dust off the dirt and keep moving forward, not dwelling on what could have been. Please keep praying for peace, understanding and for our family. I know God is faithful and doesn't want to see us hurt and has great plans. I just wish He would reveal them sooner than later.