Sweet Baby Boy

I haven't gotten to update the blog in a while because I've been super busy with Christian and trying to catch up on some sleep during my spare time. I just wanted to give a quick update on how he is doing. We went to the pediatrician yesterday for a check-up post NICU. All went well, Christian has gained weight and now weighs in at 10 pounds 2.5 ounces, 21 1/2 inches long. He has been having small seizure like activity only when he sleeps, and they are only little twitches that last for about 30 seconds to a minute. I was doing some research online about infants who twitched in their sleep and found an article and video on a condition called Benign Neonatal Sleep Myoclonus (BNSM). This condition occurs when the infant is sleeping and usually begins around the 4th day after birth (which is around the time when Christian's began). I brought this up to our doctor and she said it very well could be this condition. They had another newborn who was diagnosed with BNSM and she eventually outgrew it. I am crossing my fingers and toes in hopes that this may just be a temporary thing.

We have more doctors visits coming up, the next being the eye doctor follow-up. This one makes me the most nervous because they found lesions on Christian's eyes when he was in the NICU. I am praying hard everyday that God has healed those spots on his eyes and nothing else needs to be done. My biggest fear is that they haven't gone away and have gotten worse. I am trying to let God take this situation over but it's hard not to have the thought in the back of my mind. The nurse in the NICU also put the thought in my head of eye cancer (thanks nurse, but I could have done without that). So, of course, I am scared to death of that possibility. Other doctors appointments include the neurologist on 7/15/11 and the geneticist on 8/8/11. I'm not as worried about those because Christian's last MRI was clean and so was his CT scan.

On a lighter note, Christian got to have his newborn pictures taken this last Sunday. I am sooooo excited to see what they look like. Nicole Spikes, with Nicole Spikes photography, did an awesome job posing our little man. He cooperated for the most part and only peed and pooped once or twice. I will try and get those pictures posted as soon as they are ready. Also, Christian decided to sleep most of the night last night. Andrew and I had been waking him up every 3 hours to feed him and our pediatrician told us not to. She said he weighted enough and to let him sleep and feed him only when he wakes up. We didn't argue with this because Andrew and I love our sleep. He did awesome with his first night and only woke up once around 12:30. Bless his little heart!

We are asking for continued prayers for Christian and his healing. I am going to thank my God in advance for His healing hands on sweet little Christian. I know that His angels are still watching over him and he is going to be just fine.

Daddy finds it amusing to play dress up with me!

Little Tiger Fan in the making!

My Child of God

So, today is Sunday June 19, which happens to be Father's Day, and we are still in the hospital. I know that a lot of you have been checking the blog for updates. It's been hard to update with everything that is going on but I have some time now so here goes:

 Christian has done really well for the last week. He hasn't had any seizures since last Sunday morning around 7 a.m. He continues to have some trouble with his oxygen levels while he is feeding but it's getting better and he is steadily gaining weight. Andrew and I have learned to pace him while he eats which helps him with his suck, swallow, breathe pattern.  We had a long week last week with more tests run and more tears trying to figure out why Christian is having seizures. The eye doctor came last Monday and found lesions on both of Christian's retinas. Christian also had an MRI done the same day of his brain to get a finer picture of what may be going on. Once the eye doctor was finished with his exam he called Andrew and I back into the room and said that he thought Christian may have tuberous sclerosis or neurofibromatosis (which both present with lesions to the eyes and other abnormalities). He also said that this could cause some mental retardation and other developmental delays in the future. Andrew and I were both just crushed. How could such a perfect baby have this condition?

Then about 30 minutes later both Dr. M and Dr. W came in and said that the radiologist had read the MRI and said that he was pretty sure that it was not tuberous sclerosis. Christian's MRI was totally clean and had no tumors on it. The radiologist said, that had it been tuberous sclerosis, that there would already be tumors or other lesions on the brain as well, and it was clean! Oh, what an emotional roller coaster it has been. We know that the lesions in the eyes aren't normal but we don't know what is causing them. We have a follow up appointment in a couple of weeks with the eye doctor to see what, if anything, is going on with the lesions. We hope that they will be healed and no further tests will have to be run. We do know that Christian has no other symptoms of either of those conditions, and the doctors can't find any other reasons that he may have the lesions to his eyes. Andrew and I are convinced that there is nothing wrong with him. Just looking at him he is a normal healthy child. I know that doctors are really smart and I know that they aren't making stuff up, but it just seems to me that they are looking for something to be wrong; trying to find a diagnosis and there is nothing to be found.  I know that God has this under control and I trust Him completely over any medical diagnosis that can be made.

I also know that God heals those that are sick. My prayer is that Christian's eyes will be okay and that God will heal him. He has been with us every step of the way through this adoption process, financially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I know that God will not let us down now. Andrew and I are both confident that God gave us Christian for a reason. Whatever it may be, if anything, that is causing these lesions to his eyes will not effect the way that we love him. He is our child, perfect in every way, and God has chosen us to raise him. Christan may not be the smartest, fastest, tallest, child there is (or he might) but he IS a child of God and for that reason he is PERFECT! I love my baby more than anything in this world and nothing can and will ever take that away. Please just continue to pray for healing and that we can bring him home soon. We are more than ready to begin the normal family raising process.

One more thing, Happy first Father's Day to Andrew! You are already a great dad and Christian is very lucky to have you!

False Alarm

Today was the day we were suppose to go home from our second trip to the NICU. Andrew and I were looking forward to this day. We went home early last night to do some last minute things around the house so it would be perfect for Christian's return. We also got up early and put the new car seat in the car. It was really hot out there and both of us were sweating trying to figure out how to install it. It wasn't hard but trying to pull the strap tight enough is a job in itself. Off to the hospital we went. Things were right on schedule to discharge home; we were just waiting on Doctor M to make rounds and write the discharge orders. Andrew and I left for lunch and got back in time for Christian's lunch. He gets really irritable around his feeding times and he is like clock work (likes to eat every 3 hours). Once he got a full belly it was time for a nice nap. I was holding him and rocking him when suddenly he started trembling. They only lasted for about 30 seconds and that was it. We ran out to find our nurse and she came in the room. I told her that I think he just had a seizure but it wasn't anything near what they were like when we first brought him in.

Dr. M recommended we continue to keep a close eye on him and she ordered another EEG to be done to check for any abnormality in his brain waves. As we were waiting Andrew's parents came by for a visit along with Jennifer, his sister. Sweet Christian decided to take another nap and started the trembling again. This time I was told to push the nurse call button if it happened again. The nurse came running in and witnessed the seizure. I also got it on video (thank goodness for I-phones). I was able to show the doctor exactly what he was doing.

Needless to say a good day ended up with a set-back. My sweet baby is still in the hospital and will be there a few more days now. The goal (per Dr. M) is to get him as asymptomatic as possible. We also want his seizure medicine to be at the right dose in order to control the seizures. I just can't stand my baby being away from home. The hardest thing is having to leave him at the hospital to stay in that empty room all by himself. I know that he is just resting but at least it makes me feel better just sitting with him and being there just in case he may need me. Again, I've asked for God's angels to comfort him and bring him rest.

When we started this whole process I prayed for patience. God has taught me, and is still teaching me, the meaning of patience. He knows exactly when to give you what you need but continues to test you in ways that forces you to grow in your faith. I trust in Him and I know He knows what he's doing. All I can do is be patient and wait. I will continue to put this in God's hands with the faith that everything, in the end, will be just fine. Our God is truly an awesome God! Goodnight my sweet angel. May you rest with the angels that God sends to heal and comfort you! Kisses from your biggest fan, Mama!

Back to the NICU

Saturday morning we were totally exhausted from not sleeping very well the last two nights. Christian was not a good sleeper at night. He rested fine during the day, but by the time night came, he did not want to be put down. We had him on a 3 hour feeding schedule as well and his feedings were taking about 45 min to an hour each. It seemed like once we got done with one feeding it was time for another. Next thing we knew, Christian had developed a severe diaper rash. Later that evening my mom recommended we call the pediatrician to see if we could get him in early (we had an appointment scheduled for Monday already). The pediatrician was able to get us in early on Sunday morning. Late on Saturday night I started noticing that Christian was trembling when I held him. I didn't think much about this except that I knew it wasn't normal. We asked the doctor about it at our appointment on Sunday morning and she recommended we just keep watching him.  We also switched his formula because he wasn't tolerating the other formula he was on. His diaper rash was continuing to get worse so we got some more diaper rash cream to help heal it.

Later on Sunday we noticed that Christian's tremors were getting more pronounced especially when he was taking a nap. My wonderful sister-in-law, Jennifer, offered to keep him Sunday night so Andrew and I could get some sleep. We jumped on the offer and let her keep him. Andrew and I slept for 8 long hours and didn't have to get up once. Poor Jennifer was up a lot with him that night feeding, rocking, and playing with him at 4 in the morning because he was wide awake. I asked Jen if she noticed the tremors and she said yes and that she didn't think they were normal either. We ended up going back to the doctor on Monday morning for our new baby check up. We asked bunches of questions and finally got to the hard part about asking about the tremors. Yes, they were not normal and it was recommended that we be admitted back to the NICU to figure out what was going on with Christian.

So off to the hospital we went, again. When we got there we had to register in admissions which seemed like it took forever. Once we finally got to the NICU they immediately took Christian and examined, poked, and began running tests. All the nurses up there were absolutely fabulous. I loved everyone of them. Of course, I was crying through the whole process. Seeing my baby like that was the hardest thing ever. They ran a CT of his brain and an EEG. Every other test that was run was normal except the EEG. My worse night mare was coming true. Christian was having seizures. That was a hard pill to swallow. My heart just sank to the bottom of my feet when I heard this. All I could think was I just want my baby to be okay. More tests were being run to try and determine the cause of what was going on. I was so thankful for Dr. M because she ran every test to try and rule out what was going on. They finally had to sedate Christian a little because he was trembling so bad and couldn't get a break from the sticks and tests. They finally decided to start him on an anti-seizure medicine which would hopefully help stop them.

My poor baby was as limp as a wet wash cloth when they issued him his meds. I started crying again just seeing him so out of it. Finally, I just had to leave the hospital because I couldn't take anymore and I had cried so much that I gave myself a migraine headache. I went home and went straight to bed. Andrew called to check on Christian before he went to bed and all was good. I was comforted in knowing that he was in good hands with the nursing staff.

We woke up the next morning and called the hospital first thing to check on little Christian. They had nothing but good reports about him which eased my mine immediately. I just gave the situation to God and let him take care of it. I know that He was with my sweet baby all night because I asked for angels to surround him. God was with Andrew and I too because we got a good nights rest.

Andrew and I got ready and said goodbye to the puppies and headed back to the hospital. We got to hold Christian and feed him too. He was like a totally different baby. He was eating so much better and didn't have any kind of jerking or trembling. Our feedings were only taking about 15-20 minutes as opposed to 45-60 minutes with hard core fighting. What an answer to our prayers. I just have total faith that God is working on healing my little man. I have felt nothing but comfort the last couple of days.  Although we are still waiting on some tests results to come back, most of the ones that have already been done have come back negative.

We are still in the hospital and probably will be for several more days. I am continuing to pray for no set-backs and continued healing for Christian. I just want to thank everyone for your kind words, encouragements, and messages while we've been here. Our God is the ultimate healer and I know that whatever the outcome may be, he gave us this precious angel for a reason and for that I give Him all the glory. Andrew and I are the proudest parents and have felt God's presence through this entire process.

Poor Christian is tired of being in the hospital.

God's Plan Revealed. We Got the Call!!!

Well, Andrew and I received the greatest gift ever on Tuesday May 31, 2011. It started out just a normal day. I got up around 5:00 and went on a 5 mile run before work. Andrew and I both went to work and brought with us the list we split up of adoption agencies to call that day. We made the decision to look into larger agencies and start researching them to see if there was one out there that would work better for us. I spent a good portion of my lunch break calling agencies requesting information and trying to set up conference calls with some of them just to gather more information. Out of the 4 or 5 that I called only 2 were even possibilites. Andrew left for a business meeting to Monroe that day around lunch and called his half as well (not really sure what he found out, he told me but I can't remember).  Anyway, I went back to work and Andrew continued driving to Monroe and we put all of that behind us for the day. Around 1:50 or so I got a phone call from a number that I didn't recognize on my phone. I usually don't answer numbers that I don't know but this time I did. It was our social worker, Missy Everson. She asked me if I was somewhere that we could talk. I immediately went into the bathroom at work and asked her what was wrong. She said that there was a situation that had come up where a birthmom had given birth and she was placing him for adoption and had chosen our profile. My heart was beating so hard inside my chest I literally thought it was going to explode out. I sat down and took a deep breath and said "Really, Missy I have been waiting on this day for a long time." "I said a prayer just this morning for God to make something happen." He was listening! I don't really remember the rest of the conservation but i just remember thinking, I need to call Andrew.

When I got out of the bathroom all I could say was "Oh my God!"  My coworkers heard me and asked what was wrong. I said "our social worker just called and said she has a baby for us and it's a boy. He was born yesterday and he's in the hospital." I was literally shaking all over and couldn't stand up. It was like time was standing still but there were a million things running through my head all at once. I just remember thinking, is this real? What just happened? And then I thought, I need to call Andrew! What's his number (yes, for a split moment I forgot his number). I began calling him and he wouldn't pick up the phone. To make a long story short, I called him over and over for about 45 minutes trying to get a hold of him. 15 minutes in to trying to call him I was so excited but angry at the same time that he wasn't answering his phone. I texted him "EMERGENCY, ANSWER YOUR PHONE" several times too and even sent him an email. I finally gave up and called my sister, Lynn to tell her. I then gave her the responsibility of getting a hold of Andrew so I could call my mom and other sister. Finally, Andrew called back and was probably worried from all the missed calls and multiple texts from our whole family telling him to answer his phone. All I could say was where are you? Why didn't you answer your phone, Missy called and she has a baby for us. We get to meet him today becasue he was born yesterday.

Andrew was still in Monroe in a meeting and left immediately to come home. In the mean time, my sisters were at my house digging through all the stuff I had collected from them to start getting stuff ready for the baby. Talk about being totally unprepared for this.  My mom got to my house as soon as school was out and we all just started jumping up and down screaming. It was a moment I will never ever forget. We all went into this mode and delegated tasks to each other to see what all we were going to need for the baby. Andrew's sister, Jennifer, also went to Target and bought the whole baby section (not really but just about) to help as well.

When Andrew finally got home (in record time). We immediately went to the hospital to meet our little man. He was the most perfect  thing you could ever lay your eyes on. So sweet and innocent. He was in the NICU hooked up to all these monitors and had an NG tube going down his nose to help him eat. The nurses and doctor started updating us on what his health condition was and ultimately said he was fine but the delivery was fast and he had ingested some fluids during the delivery process. Other than that he was healthy and had very powerful lungs. We just thanked God for giving us this precious little man.

Wendesday, we spent most of the day at the hospital. We got to hold him and started thinking about baby names. We didn't want to decide on one until the paper work had been signed. Thursday we got to meet the birthparents and signed papers. It was a very nice meeting and his parents were very sweet people. We were honored they would even consider us to parent their sweet angel. Thursday night we got to stay the night at the hospital and take care of Christian Landry. He was not a good sleeper. Andrew and I probably got about 10 minutes of sleep total. It was a very long and loud night with all the crying going on. It was all worth it though. I just loved seeing how involved Andrew was with his new son and watching us learn the ropes of parent hood. Friday afternoon we got to take our precious angel Christian home. It was the happiest day of my life. We were thrilled to have him as part of our family. My sister, Lynn, met us at the house with dinner and helped us get settled in.

All in all our first night home was not as bad as the night we spent in the hospital. We think Christian had his days and nights mixed up but we are willing to work on that and get him on a regular schedule. I just thank God for giving us this angel and can't wait to see what He has planned for him. Thank you everyone for your prayers. God listens to each and every prayer and for that I am truly glad I serve such an awesome God. His love truly endures forever!

Proud Daddy

Proud Mom

Our beautiful baby boy

No more pictures dad!