Home Study 2 Success!

Yea, we just finished home study number two. It went really well and the dogs behaved too. Thanks for all your prayers! Our social worker, Missy Everson, is wonderful. She couldn't be more informative on the subject of adoption. We had a lot of questions for her concerning adoption and she answered all of them with such expertise. Andrew and I definitely feel like we are more than ready for our precious little angel now.  I am going to continue to read more and more about adoption so when we bring our little one home, we will be more than prepared for him/her and be able to provide for them for all stages of  life.  I just couldn't be more excited right now that we are planning to adopt. I cannot wait to become a mother and for Andrew to become a daddy.  We now just have to wait for God to lead us to the right birthmother. Until then I will continue to pray for my unknow birthmom, for her strength and courage. I am thanking God in advance for his guidance in this process and for leading us to our perfect angel.





The Second Home Study

So tomorrow we have our second home study. Please pray for us that all goes well. I have spent the last few days trying to keep our house clean. It stays pretty clean for the most part because I can't stand clutter, but trying to keep the floors clean is the hardest especially with two small dogs. My sister has invited us to eat dinner next door tonight so I won't have to worry about keeping the kitchen clean, thank goodness! During the home study we will be discussing things like finances, our level of openness with an adoption, child care arrangements and other information about adoption. Andrew and I have a lot of questions for our social worker this time. We didn't have too many questions for her on the first home study because we didn't know what to expect. This go around I have read up on adoption and have a lot of stuff I want answers to. I will let you know how it goes tomorrow. I just hope that our dogs behave this time!



Don't let the innocent face fool you!



Rambling Thoughts

I just wanted to say thanks to all of my friends and family who have shared their love to Andrew and I during this time. I especailly want to say thanks to the ones who have opened up to me and shared their stories about their struggles with infertility, as I know first hand how difficult it is to admit that you are going through that. It doesn't get easier, at least for me, but it is something I have grown to somewhat accept as a part of me. I still have faith that if God wants me to have my own baby, He will give me one.  I cling to my decision to adopt and hope and pray that it will happen soon for us. The hardest thing to do is sit back and wait. As I mentioned earlier, I am not a patient person. Waiting on something (anything) is not easy for me, and to have something like this so out of my control is even harder. I know that God is working on me and within me for whatever reason, I am still not sure, but I know it's gotta be a good one.

Today I got to see 10 out of my 11 nieces and nephews. I don't usually get to see them all in one day but between birthday parties and hanging out with my sisters it just happened. It was a good day for me but also reminded me of how badly I want a family of my own. It's not easy being bored out of your mind on a lazy Saturday. I crave for the day that I am super busy with my kids, loving them, hauling them around, and telling them to quit fighting with each other. I am ready for my house to be filled with loud kids and maybe even for a hole or two in the walls. (I know, I should be careful for what I ask for.) I think it would fill the void I have in my heart right now.

My friend Deni sent me some books on adoption (thanks Deni) and I have been trying to read through them. I've already finished one, it took me a day and a half, and I can't wait to dive deep into another. One of the book's title stood out to me, Secrets thoughts of an Adoptive Mother, and I pretty much read it cover to cover. Some of the things the author said were the exact thoughts that I have been thinking. It just reassured me that the things I have been thinking are only normal and part of the process, I guess.  Whew...what a relief.  One of the biggest things that I have been struggling with in my mind is the fact that I have to prove myself worthy to be a parent. It kinda seems a little unfair to me, because if I had my own child I wouldn't have to do that, and no one would question any of my intentions. In a way it's almost offensive to me. I personally think that what ever child God decides to give us is gonna be so lucky to have us as parents. Ohhh, and the love that baby is gonna get, after all, I've been holding in all this "baby love" for quite some time now. I can't wait!!!

My two sister's children: Noah, Bryce, Michelle, and Ava

In a Nutshell

I realized after my first posting that I didn't really explain a whole lot about who we are. There are bits and pieces throughout the blog but I will try and be a little more specific and organized.

Andrew and I have been married for a little over 5 years. We just celebrated our 5 year anniversay last December with a trip to Austin, Tx. It was a lot of fun. Andrew is very much a people person. Everywhere we go he knows someone. He is very personable and has more patience than anyone I know. I guess that's what makes him so successful at what he does. Andrew is in the insurance industry, and within the last few years has started a satelite office of Gillis Ellis and Baker here in Shreveport. He has done very well and I am so proud of him. Playing drums for the contemporary worship service at our church is one of Andrew's favorite things to do. He loves serving God and does it so well.

I am an occupational therapist and have been for about 7 1/2 years. I love what I do and have recently been able to cut back my hours to spend more time at home to work on other interests of mine. I love to run and spend a lot of time outside. Andrew and I enjoy camping in the great outdoors and have been to some amazing places in Colorado and Arkansas. I really want to go to the Grand Canyon one day and also to Alaska. They have such amazing scenery and I would love to sit back and marvel at God's creation.

We are very lucky to have most of our family living right here in Shreveport. Both of us are very close to our families and we frequently get together on holidays, birthdays, and also just for the sake of getting to spend time with each other. Andrew has one older brother (living in Baton Rouge) and an older sister. Between the two of them we have 7 nieces and nephews. I have a twin sister and an older sister and have 4 nieces and nephews between them. I enjoy having our families living so close to us. It really makes a good family support system which I think is very important for raising a new family.

Andrew and I look forward to the time when we can share our love and family with a "little angel or angels." We want to provide for them the best we can and give them every opportunity to grow up to be the best person they could possibly be. We can't wait to see what God has planned for us!!!

This is Andrew's family (top). My family (bottom) celebrating Thanksgiving.

My sisters and I with my sweet Granny and Dad 

How It All Started

Bare with me on my first post for it's a long one. I promise the others won't be so long. I just have a lot to say and rambling is something I do so well.

We began trying to conceive on our own about 3 years ago. After the first year of not being successful, we sought out help from a fertility specialist. We got our diagnosis and began a long 2 years of fertility treatments. We underwent 4 failed IUI's and 2 IVFs, which later falied early on. Fertility treatments are very draining both physically and emotionally, and their is nothing in the world that makes you feel more alone than going through infertlity. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, ever. We have 2 frozen embryos left, however we haven't made any plans to use them. I don't plan on using them until I feel like I can prepare myself to go through that again. I do know that we will be using another fertility specialist if/when we decide to use them.

Andrew and I have grown closer together in our quest to become pregnant. I feel so bad for those that are drawn apart from fertility problems, but I do know how stressful of a time it can be and how draining it is for a relationship both physically, emotionally, and financially. I thank God everyday for giving me such a wonderful husband who is so strong in his faith. Andrew is my best friend (besides my sisters and my dogs of course), and I have drawn so much of my own strength from him and the rest of my family. I don't know how I could have made it this far without such a strong family support. My dogs, Tucker and Koby, were there right beside me as well throughout the entire process. They never left my side, except to eat, while I was on bedrest and when I couldn't get out of bed from being sad. I love my 4 legged babies.

So, there are several things that brought us to the decision to adopt. First of all, God does amazing things to lead you to make important decisions in life. For me it takes a little more pushing to get me out of my comfort zone, and I think that's exactly what He had to do for me. I was in denial about the whole idea of adoption. I knew that it wasn't something that I was interested in especially without first trying on our own. God puts these ideas in your head and He uses all different kinds of outlets to do it. If you just listen you will hear what He is trying to tell you. Without going into too much detail, the first little message came through K-Love radio station through a commercial on adoption. The second came through a friend who had a relative that was giving her baby up for adoption (we turned the opportunity down because we weren't ready yet) and then the third sign was from another friend who knew of someone giving her baby up for adoption (I continually pray that she finds the perfect parents to raise her child). I don't think God could be any more clear on giving us signs. We sought out a social worker and got the adoption process started.  I don't know when or how we will end up adopting, but I do know that God has led us specifically to this process and all we can do is put it in his hands and be patient (not one of my stronger attributes).

As we begin this journey, we sit patiently waiting on God to give us our perfect baby. After all, "every good and perfect gift is from above," right! It feels good to have such great friends who care about you. I hope I didn't bore you too much with my first post. Thanks for reading and for the prayers. We serve such and awesome God and I feel so blessed to have each of you in my life.