Bare with me on my first post for it's a long one. I promise the others won't be so long. I just have a lot to say and rambling is something I do so well.
We began trying to conceive on our own about 3 years ago. After the first year of not being successful, we sought out help from a fertility specialist. We got our diagnosis and began a long 2 years of fertility treatments. We underwent 4 failed IUI's and 2 IVFs, which later falied early on. Fertility treatments are very draining both physically and emotionally, and their is nothing in the world that makes you feel more alone than going through infertlity. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, ever. We have 2 frozen embryos left, however we haven't made any plans to use them. I don't plan on using them until I feel like I can prepare myself to go through that again. I do know that we will be using another fertility specialist if/when we decide to use them.
Andrew and I have grown closer together in our quest to become pregnant. I feel so bad for those that are drawn apart from fertility problems, but I do know how stressful of a time it can be and how draining it is for a relationship both physically, emotionally, and financially. I thank God everyday for giving me such a wonderful husband who is so strong in his faith. Andrew is my best friend (besides my sisters and my dogs of course), and I have drawn so much of my own strength from him and the rest of my family. I don't know how I could have made it this far without such a strong family support. My dogs, Tucker and Koby, were there right beside me as well throughout the entire process. They never left my side, except to eat, while I was on bedrest and when I couldn't get out of bed from being sad. I love my 4 legged babies.
So, there are several things that brought us to the decision to adopt. First of all, God does amazing things to lead you to make important decisions in life. For me it takes a little more pushing to get me out of my comfort zone, and I think that's exactly what He had to do for me. I was in denial about the whole idea of adoption. I knew that it wasn't something that I was interested in especially without first trying on our own. God puts these ideas in your head and He uses all different kinds of outlets to do it. If you just listen you will hear what He is trying to tell you. Without going into too much detail, the first little message came through K-Love radio station through a commercial on adoption. The second came through a friend who had a relative that was giving her baby up for adoption (we turned the opportunity down because we weren't ready yet) and then the third sign was from another friend who knew of someone giving her baby up for adoption (I continually pray that she finds the perfect parents to raise her child). I don't think God could be any more clear on giving us signs. We sought out a social worker and got the adoption process started. I don't know when or how we will end up adopting, but I do know that God has led us specifically to this process and all we can do is put it in his hands and be patient (not one of my stronger attributes).
As we begin this journey, we sit patiently waiting on God to give us our perfect baby. After all, "every good and perfect gift is from above," right! It feels good to have such great friends who care about you. I hope I didn't bore you too much with my first post. Thanks for reading and for the prayers. We serve such and awesome God and I feel so blessed to have each of you in my life.