My Child of God

So, today is Sunday June 19, which happens to be Father's Day, and we are still in the hospital. I know that a lot of you have been checking the blog for updates. It's been hard to update with everything that is going on but I have some time now so here goes:

 Christian has done really well for the last week. He hasn't had any seizures since last Sunday morning around 7 a.m. He continues to have some trouble with his oxygen levels while he is feeding but it's getting better and he is steadily gaining weight. Andrew and I have learned to pace him while he eats which helps him with his suck, swallow, breathe pattern.  We had a long week last week with more tests run and more tears trying to figure out why Christian is having seizures. The eye doctor came last Monday and found lesions on both of Christian's retinas. Christian also had an MRI done the same day of his brain to get a finer picture of what may be going on. Once the eye doctor was finished with his exam he called Andrew and I back into the room and said that he thought Christian may have tuberous sclerosis or neurofibromatosis (which both present with lesions to the eyes and other abnormalities). He also said that this could cause some mental retardation and other developmental delays in the future. Andrew and I were both just crushed. How could such a perfect baby have this condition?

Then about 30 minutes later both Dr. M and Dr. W came in and said that the radiologist had read the MRI and said that he was pretty sure that it was not tuberous sclerosis. Christian's MRI was totally clean and had no tumors on it. The radiologist said, that had it been tuberous sclerosis, that there would already be tumors or other lesions on the brain as well, and it was clean! Oh, what an emotional roller coaster it has been. We know that the lesions in the eyes aren't normal but we don't know what is causing them. We have a follow up appointment in a couple of weeks with the eye doctor to see what, if anything, is going on with the lesions. We hope that they will be healed and no further tests will have to be run. We do know that Christian has no other symptoms of either of those conditions, and the doctors can't find any other reasons that he may have the lesions to his eyes. Andrew and I are convinced that there is nothing wrong with him. Just looking at him he is a normal healthy child. I know that doctors are really smart and I know that they aren't making stuff up, but it just seems to me that they are looking for something to be wrong; trying to find a diagnosis and there is nothing to be found.  I know that God has this under control and I trust Him completely over any medical diagnosis that can be made.

I also know that God heals those that are sick. My prayer is that Christian's eyes will be okay and that God will heal him. He has been with us every step of the way through this adoption process, financially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I know that God will not let us down now. Andrew and I are both confident that God gave us Christian for a reason. Whatever it may be, if anything, that is causing these lesions to his eyes will not effect the way that we love him. He is our child, perfect in every way, and God has chosen us to raise him. Christan may not be the smartest, fastest, tallest, child there is (or he might) but he IS a child of God and for that reason he is PERFECT! I love my baby more than anything in this world and nothing can and will ever take that away. Please just continue to pray for healing and that we can bring him home soon. We are more than ready to begin the normal family raising process.

One more thing, Happy first Father's Day to Andrew! You are already a great dad and Christian is very lucky to have you!